Riches won’t make you successful – Pt 1

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Now, don’t bury me before I die. Hear me out first.

I believe that it’s fantastic to earn lots of money, drive unusual cars, travel the world, and so forth. These are the measures of success that are flashed in the faces of young people every day.

Nonetheless, I think we’re missing something out in our definition of success. We’re guilty of a logical fallacy called hasty generalization. Consider the following examples:

  1. Because the guy who crashed into my car this morning is a 23-year old, therefore all 23-year old men are reckless drivers.
  2. James earns lots of money. So James is a successful guy.

Examples 1 and 2 are similar because the conclusion was reached before we gathered sufficient facts to back up our claim.

Someone (probably not Einstein) said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

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Therefore, if we generalise the standard of success in life to be the ability to climb trees, only arboreal animals will be termed successful.

Similarly, concerning riches, when we put an absolute parameter for success in life as the amount of money a person is worth or makes, we are excluding other parameters that measure success in other areas of life.

In December 2013, Time magazine created a list of the most significant figures in history. Although the list is controversial, the first five names in the list were Jesus, Napoleon, Mohammad, Shakespeare and Abraham Lincoln. Many of those featured on the list were never considered among the richest in their time. However, they were considered influential in their areas of specialization: national leadership, science, literature, religion etc.

In my opinion, our present, widespread definition of success is distracting. This wrong definition is the reason that some persons (especially males and young people) are under unnecessary pressure to make money that they do not need. Not everyone needs lots of money to be successful! (Wow, it appears that I am puncturing the ideas of pundits. I love this!)

So, what is success? This will be the subject of my next post! Do stick around.

Remain on top.

LEKE

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Valentine: Hooking up and breaking up

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“I called off a relationship 18 months ago. But the pain seems so fresh, just like it happened yesterday. I am depressed.” – Jane

” Anytime I see her, I feel like she has a part of me that I can’t collect back. I just don’t feel complete since she walked out of my life.” – Peter

Jane and Peter (not real names) are dear friends who poured out their hearts to me.In this post, I’d like to talk about soul-ties.

Every time we enter a relationship with another person, a soul-tie is formed. Soul-ties between married couples are good. However, one with someone who is not our spouse is a drag and burden to life. Soul-ties can be broken, but it is more complicated once there was a sexual relationship involved.

The struggle Jane and Peter have since leaving the former partner is due to the unbroken soul-tie that was formed with their exes.

My advice:

  1. Don’t join the bandwagon that hooks up rashly, only to regrettably break-up later.
  2. Pray to know God’s mind once you begin to have feelings for a guy or lady. You can hear God’s mind more clearly before you get deeply emotionally involved.
  3. By all means, define all relationships with the opposite sex clearly. Ladies, please get that guy to tell you what trip he’s taking you on – whether it’s just a walk in the park or a walk to the aisle. Don’t be like the lady who almost had a heart attack when the guy she had been befriending for 3 years told her point-blank, “I only like you as a friend. But I don’t intend to marry you.”
  4. Why make more enemies? Most people are never able to be good friends with an ex for the rest of their lives.
  5. When you break a relationship, a part of you sort of dies. And getting back your real self may take some time. Why not avoid the trouble?

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I am not advocating for people to remain in a troubled relationship. By all means, please walk out of any relationship that you have become convinced is not right for you. However, what I am saying is that you do not need to date and go to bed with several partners before you settle for one of the many “samplers.” Please keep yourself pure for the special person whom God has prepared for you. Shine your eyes before you enter.

As another Valentine’s Day approaches, if you are still single, you might start feeling lonelier. Who said you cannot even give yourself a treat on that day?

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Remember that it is said that the reason Michael Jackson could not live a decent life as an adult was because he was robbed of his childhood by the pressures of the Jackson Five. Similarly, a wonderful marriage can only be produced by a person who had a wonderful single hood. So do not spend your single years in self-pity that you are yet to be “taken”. By all means, live life to the fullest now!

Remain on top!

LEKE

PS: If you wish to learn more about soul ties and how to break them, Brittaneè Perkins has a great article on that.

Tipsy and “Scabashing”

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One Friday evening, Francis, a young staff of a Nigerian bank had to accompany his manager for a meeting with an Indian Finance Director to finalize agreements on a loan to be granted the Indian’s company. Soon after the exchange of pleasantries, they were offered drinks. The customer already knew that the bank manager takes red wine, and so quickly ordered his preference. Then he asked Francis, ‘What drink will you take?’ ‘Any soft drink will be fine,’ Francis answered. ‘Common, stop kidding me. Feel free and be comfortable. I’m ready to make sure you enjoy yourself. So tell me what you want to drink,’ the Indian said. Francis repeated, ‘Coke, Pepsi, or any soft drink will do.’ At this point the man looked at him in horror, probably thinking, ‘Are you serious?’ Then Francis quickly added, ‘I usually don’t take alcoholic drinks.’ His request was granted and they quickly settled into discussing business.

Lots of people take drink, particularly when they are among their friends or at parties, to enable them ‘socialize’ or at least not appear too different from others. One secular local artiste sang a song that hailed drinks like Moet, Chandon and Hennessy. From my observation, ladies love Baileys. What then happened to warnings that the increasing rate of liver failures today is associated with alcohol intake? You probably have heard that alcohol intoxication affects the brain causing dehydration, slurred speech and clumsiness. Some people reel out a long list of ‘benefits’ of ‘moderate drinking.’ Well, a medical expert on cancer made this remark due to the link between alcohol and cancers of the liver, breast, head and neck: ‘If you don’t drink, there is no reason to start.’

I have heard of families that fell apart because the man of the house would beat his wife or rape his daughters in his drunken state. Another man became useless and lost his job because he had a huge problem with alcohol.  So, the inability to control drink has made many men abuse family members both physically and sexually and other men have become useless burdens to their loved ones.

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Many girls and ladies, in an intoxicated state, have slept with men whom they would never even have dated in their right senses. There was an incidence where a 15 year old girl committed suicide due to depression after her nude picture circulated social websites. In her inebriated state, at a party, some of her male classmates took off her clothes and fingered her. And throughout this, she was unaware of what was happening. At many parties, some ladies have been raped in their intoxicated state. The bottom line is that alcohol has left several people with regrets concerning things they did in a drunken state. It all started with ‘a little alcohol is not bad.’ Then, a little glass turned to several glasses and then bottles, until they became intoxicated. Most persons who have gotten drunk did not intend to get drunk, but they ended up drunk anyway. It is therefore better to avoid that alcoholic drink than try and control your use of it. Besides, some people whom we don’t expect are guilty as well.

I don’t know how, in a tipsy state, a believer can effectively relate with God in prayer or read and understand the Bible. Maybe the reason some persons (strangely, this includes some pastors that some of us know) have a warped understanding of the Bible is that they read it after having a glass of champagne. People who are children of God are led by the Spirit (Romans 8:14). But how can you be led by the Spirit of God when you are under the influence of the spirit of alcohol? The Holy Spirit and alcohol never go together. Ephesians 5:18 says, ‘And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit.’

By the way, we have read that Jesus turned water to wine. Well, the Greek word used for wine (oinos) is a generic term for fermented wine and fresh grape juice. This is just like when Nigerians say maggi, they mean any of Knorr, Star, Maggi chicken, Ajinomoto etc. So what kind of wine did Jesus make in His miracle? Was it burukutu or kain kain or paraga or palmy or the more expensive champagne? All through the Bible, alcoholic drink is discouraged for serious minded children of God, so we can infer that Jesus turned water into fresh grape juice and not the one that made his disciples drunk after they drank it! Can you just imagine Peter staggering along the road after the wedding at Cana, and John vomiting on James because they were drunk? And the little wine that Paul asked Timothy to drink was for medicinal purpose. Therefore, only those to whom alcohol was prescribed by their doctors can consider it. Besides, medicine has gotten so advanced now and doctors have better drugs than alcohol to cure sicknesses. I guess the medical profession was in a primitive stage in Apostle Paul’s days. Also note that for Paul to have recommended wine to pastor Timothy for his ailment, Timothy had not been taking it before. Bottom line: there is no scripture in the Bible that supports drunkenness or the consumption of alcoholic drink, since it can make so many stumble.

Well, the end of Francis’ story is that although he was laughed at for not taking wine that night, he grew to be respected, very successful and influential in the same bank.

So, in this new year, the next time you are at a party or corporate dinner, or just hanging out with friends, be bold enough to ask for a soft drink, juice or table water instead of red wine, champagne, stout, or whatever other name alcoholic drinks go by. Very soon, those who laugh at you would respect you for your courage to be different. I think it’s high time we stopped seeing tipsy Christians scabashing and prophesying under the influence of alcohol.

Remain on top.

LEKE

Welcome to 2015 – “Voice of Leke” Starts Officially

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Thanks for visiting “Voice of Leke.”

Wow! I’m thankful for this new year. I guess you are too.

A new year speaks of fresh opportunities and a kind of second chance in areas that one was sloppy in the preceding year. I can also imagine that you have plenty of new year resolutions. Boy, I have too, and by God’s grace we will celebrate our successes together at the end of 2015.

After so many months of strategic planning procrastination, I finally post my first message to this blog. This indeed calls for celebration!

I will commence activity on this blog with a series titled, KILLERS OF MY GENERATION. The first in the series will be Tipsy and Scabashing. I will attempt to explain the reasons why it’s better to opt for an abstemious lifestyle. Also, in a few weeks time, I will reveal details to you about a book I will publish very soon.

It’s gonna be an exciting ride into the year!

Thanks for dropping by and please stay close by.

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