Category Archives: Relationship

Chika Ike’s Celebration of 5 months of #Celibacy


I really did not want to comment on this matter. But after pushing the draft of this post aside for three days, I could no longer hold myself from publishing it.

It is no longer news that a few days ago, one of Nollywood’s frontline actresses, Chika Ike took to twitter to publicise her landmark achievement in keeping herself for 5 months. Quoting her,

“I must say it[‘]s not easy being celibate… Five months and still counting…wowI”

While her intentions for the announcement are unclear, I guess it was done out of joy and sheer amazement that she had never been able to keep herself in check for that long since she first tasted the golden apple. On a lighter note, the mischievous part of me thinks she did it for one of two reasons: probably for the Pope to beatify her or for the United Nations to appoint her an Ambassador for Peace Abstinence. But is 5 months of self-denial sufficient a reason to roll out the drums for a national celebration?

About five years ago, my good friend and mentor got married. Shortly after his wedding, he told me with pride how he “verified” that his 28-year old wife was a virgin. They had both waited until their wedding night. I can imagine that his respect for the lady went above the roof. In Africa, it is still a thing of honour, even among educated young folks, when a man meets his wife intact. I know that what a person decides to do with this department of their lives is their own business and the matter remains private until they disclose it.

Anyway, Miss Chika, I admire your courage and praiseworthy decision to stop the games and wait. This is a choice that more people are encouraged to make. (My view from a godly perspective.) However, know that you can only claim success in this goal if you are able to sustain your man’s thirst until after you both say, “I do.”

My intention is not to tell off the beautiful artiste. On the contrary, I wish to encourage girls, boys, ladies and gentlemen to not settle for low standards. Set your sights high. For goodness sake, you can do better than 5 months! You can maintain a clean slate from cradle until the day you say “I do”. And just in case you have been broken (whether you’re male or female); you can still sit up today and say, like Chika,

“I will wait…until I make my marriage vows with Mr Right or Miss Gorgeous.”

Yes you can, God helping you!

Does anyone out there agree with me?

Leke Babayomi blogs at

Follow him on twitter @lekebabayomi

Brace yourself to purchase a copy of his soon-to-be-released book: “The Silent Killer.”

Picture credit:


Valentine: Hooking up and breaking up

break up

“I called off a relationship 18 months ago. But the pain seems so fresh, just like it happened yesterday. I am depressed.” – Jane

” Anytime I see her, I feel like she has a part of me that I can’t collect back. I just don’t feel complete since she walked out of my life.” – Peter

Jane and Peter (not real names) are dear friends who poured out their hearts to me.In this post, I’d like to talk about soul-ties.

Every time we enter a relationship with another person, a soul-tie is formed. Soul-ties between married couples are good. However, one with someone who is not our spouse is a drag and burden to life. Soul-ties can be broken, but it is more complicated once there was a sexual relationship involved.

The struggle Jane and Peter have since leaving the former partner is due to the unbroken soul-tie that was formed with their exes.

My advice:

  1. Don’t join the bandwagon that hooks up rashly, only to regrettably break-up later.
  2. Pray to know God’s mind once you begin to have feelings for a guy or lady. You can hear God’s mind more clearly before you get deeply emotionally involved.
  3. By all means, define all relationships with the opposite sex clearly. Ladies, please get that guy to tell you what trip he’s taking you on – whether it’s just a walk in the park or a walk to the aisle. Don’t be like the lady who almost had a heart attack when the guy she had been befriending for 3 years told her point-blank, “I only like you as a friend. But I don’t intend to marry you.”
  4. Why make more enemies? Most people are never able to be good friends with an ex for the rest of their lives.
  5. When you break a relationship, a part of you sort of dies. And getting back your real self may take some time. Why not avoid the trouble?

vals day

I am not advocating for people to remain in a troubled relationship. By all means, please walk out of any relationship that you have become convinced is not right for you. However, what I am saying is that you do not need to date and go to bed with several partners before you settle for one of the many “samplers.” Please keep yourself pure for the special person whom God has prepared for you. Shine your eyes before you enter.

As another Valentine’s Day approaches, if you are still single, you might start feeling lonelier. Who said you cannot even give yourself a treat on that day?

michael jackson

Remember that it is said that the reason Michael Jackson could not live a decent life as an adult was because he was robbed of his childhood by the pressures of the Jackson Five. Similarly, a wonderful marriage can only be produced by a person who had a wonderful single hood. So do not spend your single years in self-pity that you are yet to be “taken”. By all means, live life to the fullest now!

Remain on top!


PS: If you wish to learn more about soul ties and how to break them, Brittaneè Perkins has a great article on that.